


Coping

by csichick_2



Category: CSI: Miami
Genre: Character Death Fix, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-21
Updated: 2014-12-21
Packaged: 2018-03-02 14:49:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2816057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/csichick_2/pseuds/csichick_2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Horatio copes with nearly losing Speed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Coping

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sharpiesgal (TigerLily)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TigerLily/gifts).



> AU for "Lost Son"

Horatio threw himself into the case because that was the only way he could handle the not knowing. Not knowing if Speed would pull through. He suspects he knows what happened and that's something he doesn't want to dwell one. But once Joey was reunited with his step-mother, there was nothing left to distract him. Though he would never admit it, he was grateful when Calleigh confiscated his keys and insisted on driving him to the hospital - his attention most definitely would not have been on the road. Speed is still in surgery when they get there - something which makes Horatio very nervous - so there is nothing they can do but wait. 

He's not sure when Eric and Alexx arrive at the hospital, but he's not aware of their presence until Alexx places a hand on his shoulder when the doctor comes out to speak to them. They'd almost lost him a few times in the operating room and he was going to have a long recovery ahead of him, but Speed pulled through and was going to be fine. Even though he was still under the affects of the anesthesia, Horatio wanted to sit with him - wanted to be the first person he saw when he woke up.

As he waits, the toll the day has taken catches up to him and he's about to fall asleep when Speed wakes up.

"You look like hell," he cracks, though it's obvious by the edge in his voice that he's in a lot of pain.

"I should be the one saying that to you," Horatio says gently. As much as he wants to lecture his lover over the fact that he's apparently still not taking proper care of his weapon, it's not the time or place. There's plenty of time for that later.

"The kid? Did you find him?" Speed asks, deflecting.

"He had a rough day, but he'll be fine. Turns out the fake stones weren't related to the kidnapping - that was just the store stealing from its customers," Horatio responds.

"Looks like I got shot for nothing then," he replies in a bad attempt at humor.

"Don't Tim," Horatio responds, more harshly than he intended. "Don't joke about that. We almost lost you. I almost lost you."

"But you didn't, H," Speed says softly. "I'm still here."

Horatio takes one of Speed's hands in his own. "We're going to have a long talk about what happened later, but right now I just want you to focus on getting better."

Speed winces as he knows that means Horatio knows that his gun misfired. "Look, H, I..."

"Not now, Tim. I don't want say something I'll regret."

"I'm sorry, Horatio," he says softly, finding a spot on the ceiling very interesting.

Horatio leans over and kisses him softly. "I'll go let the others know you're awake. I'm pretty sure Alexx wants to smother you."

"She'd be better off smothering you," Speed replies, though he knows there will be no escaping her mother henning. "I'm not getting out of this bed any time soon."

“You say that now, but we both know how terrible a patient you are,” Horatio replies, amused. “I’m going to go home and take a shower, but I’ll be back.”

“You should eat and get some sleep too, so you don’t end up in the next bed,” Speed responds. “I will tell Alexx to check up on you.”

“Fine, I’ll eat and sleep too,” Horatio relents as he leaves, knowing that Speed’s threat to sic Alexx on him isn’t an idle one.

Fortunately Speed’s time in the hospital coincides with a lull in crime, so while he’s not able to be there as much as he’d like, he’s still able to spend a few hour hours every day. A few times Speed has tried to bring up the shooting, but Horatio keeps brushing him off, not wanting to discuss the other man’s gun where others can hear.

When it comes time for Speed to be discharged from the hospital, Horatio finds himself getting more and more nervous the closer he gets to the home. The two of them are finally going to have to discuss why Speed’s gun misfired, and he’s afraid the fallout could destroy their relationship.

“Can we finally talk about what happened now,” Speed asks as soon as they get inside. “Or are you going to deflect again so you don’t have to ask if my gun was dirty.”

“There are multiple reasons a gun can misfire,” Horatio says evasively.

“Cut the crap Horatio,” Speed practically snaps. “You didn’t want to talk about it last time either, but you clearly knew since you gave me the gun cleaning kit.”

“Not talking about it was clearly a mistake since you obviously didn’t learn your lesson,” Horatio snaps back. “There wasn’t a vest to catch the bullet this time, Tim. You almost died.”

“Was it overdue to be cleaned, yes. But I have been cleaning it,” Speed replies surprisingly calmly. “I was going to do it the next day. The day I was supposed to be coming back from vacation.”

Horatio sighs. He’s still not happy, but at least Speed’s gun has been cleaned since Dispo Day. “If being dirty is the reason it misfired – and we don’t know that it is – then you’re not cleaning it often enough.”

“We both know that’s probably why, H,” Speed says resigned. “Especially since I’m not all that comfortable with guns in general, let alone cleaning them.”

Horatio sighs again. “Which I should have picked up on much more than I did.”

“I’ve gotten good at hiding it. Wouldn’t have lasted in the field if I did.”

“Which never gets repeated outside of here, or Stetler will make sure you’re never in the field again.”

Realization crosses Speed’s features. “That’s why you never wanted to talk about it in the hospital. So none of this could get back to him.”

“He seemed to have his mind made up as soon as he got to the scene,” Horatio replies. Which is why I made sure he believed that you were too high on painkillers to be coherent.”

“So I should expect an ambush the second I go back to work?” Speed asks.

“Probably,” Horatio admits. “We should go away for a few days – put that off for a little longer.”

Speed smiles. “I’d like that.”


End file.
